Top 5 Movies I'm Excited For!

My love for Jim Henson's Muppet's has been no secret to readers of this blog. There was no question I was going to be seeing the new Muppet movie, but the new trailer that was released this week really sold the ticket. I love the idea that this movie supposes a world where all of the episodes of the Muppet Show, all of the movies, all of that stuff, is being performed by real Muppets and not puppets. It makes them real, but not in the way that all of the other movies made them real. It makes them "canon" for the real world. Does that make sense? No? I don't care.

Anyhow, I love going to the movies. I like 'em all. But I really do enjoy the fall and summer and all the big movies that come out. It got to a point this summer where I said to Kristen while reading an EW magazine "You know, we're going to have to see at least a movie a week to keep up with all the stuff I want to see." Of course, we didn't wind up doing that. We won't do it this fall or next summer either I'm sure. But still, there are so many movies I'm excited for on the horizon. Here's 5 of them!

Top 5 Movies I'm Excited For

1. The Avengers

I've wanted to see a Justice League movie since I was in high school. I don't think I'll ever see one, but seeing an Avengers movie is just as mind blowing to me. I have to give Marvel credit for setting it up the way they did too. It took long term commitment to make Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America movies that were successful on their own while still looking down the pike and knowing this was going to be a reality. It's going to be amazing!

2. The Muppets

This is the trailer that I mentioned at the top, the one that inspired this post. Tell me this isn't a brilliant concept for a Muppet movie. Plus, Jason Segel is on record as being a huge Muppet fan. I feel like he was a great choice to write and star in this movie. 

3. J. Edgar

I'm not all together sure why I want to see this movie. I don't have much connection to the subject matter or anything, but it just looks really good.

4. The Dark Knight Rises

Let's face it. As long as someone keeps making Batman movies, I'm going to keep seeing them...forever. But Chris Nolan's Batman films have been more than just "comic book movies". They are cinematic masterpieces.

5. The Hunger Games

These dark, dystopian YA novels took the world by storm a little while ago. I got into them in a big way. The books are so fun and fast and crazy. They are just the type of book where you finish reading it and say to yourself "That's going to be a great movie." I really hope that I'm right.

Top 5 Simpsons Episodes

Top 5 Simpsons Episodes

We’ve heard it all before. The Simpsons are being threatened with cancellation because the actors want to be compensated fairly for their work. I use fair loosely however. Paying someone who works 3-4 hours a week 8 million dollars a year seems more than fair, however, when you consider the amount of money the show makes, one could say the actors deserve what they are asking and probably more. However, to those of us who make considerably less than that for a 40 hour work week, it seems more than prudent to tell Nancy Cartwright to shut her whiny mouth and just be grateful she has the job she has during her time before the mother ship comes to hurry her to L. Ron Hubbard’s side on Planet Glypfnoar.

I’ll pose another question to you. It’s one that’s hard for me to ask as someone who grew up with America’s favorite cartoon family. Is it time for us to just let the Simpsons go? For example, people know that I love Kevin Smith. Some may say I’m obsessed with the work of the director, podcaster, and raconteur. When he announced that his upcoming film “Hit Somebody” would be his final film and that he would be segueing into other media and new projects after his retirement, I did not join the throngs of Kevin Smith fans who begged him to reconsider. I applaud him. Go out while things are good. Don’t fizzle.

The Office is another perfect example. To preface, I’m currently enjoying Andy as the new boss. However, there was absolutely no reason to continue the show past Steve Carrel’s departure last season. Take a cue from your British forefathers. Do 2 great seasons and call it a day. Move on and do something else. Keep coming up with new ideas.

On the opposite side of the coin, I still think the Simpsons has been totally entertaining. Are they still the groundbreaking show that they were in the 90's? Not by a long shot. But it still makes me laugh. I feel like I would feel the void if there was no more Simpsons. It's kind of like the sun. Even if I'm not always enjoying the sun, I feel better knowing it's there.

Just in case it goes away, I thought I would reflect on my....

Top 5 Simpsons Episodes.

1. King Size Homer

2. Weekend at Burnsie's

3. Homer at the Bat

4. You Only Move Twice

5. Homer's Enemy

My apologies. For some reason I could not post any youtube videos. I encourage you to go and watch these episodes for yourself. 

5 Things I'm Excited to Share With My Kids

Friday night, Kristen and I went to see They Might Be Giants. In addition to the massive library of albums they've put out for general consumption, they've also put out 3 children's albums. They're grown up shows are not geared towards children, but they also do a lot of gigs that are all ages where they play the children's material and some more kid friendly stuff from their regular albums (Dr. Worm, Particle Man, etc.) I saw a few people who had brought little kids to the show, which is fine but I didn't think the venue was a great place for kids and the f-bomb was dropped a few times. Anyhow, I got to thinking about when I become a father.

 I'm not in any hurry to have kids, but a family is something I've always wanted to have. I think I'm really excited to be a dad and I think being a nerd has a lot to do with that. Most nerds are essentially big kids. We love video games, superheroes, cartoons, etc and I think this makes nerds really great parents. Patton Oswalt said that if you want to have a cool kid, you need to keep them away from everything you like. If I play my kids The Smiths and tell them how amazing The Blues Brothers is their rebellious attitude will kick in and they'll hate everything good. However, there are things I can't wait to introduce to my children. And with that, I present to you...

5 Things I'm Excited to Share With My Kids

1. They Might Be Giants

I think my kid's will really enjoy this song. Not as much as me I'm sure, but still.

2. The Muppets

Ever since I've been a little kid, I've loved the Muppets. They are timeless (puppets never age) and, like They Might Be Giants, just as entertain for children as they are for adults. I can't wait to sit my kids down and watch Muppet Show DVD's for hours on end. I've always loved this sketch (and I don't think I've posted it in any of my other blogs which mention the Muppets thus far.)

3. Airplane! and Airplane 2

I have such great memories of sitting around as a family watching classic comedies at my dad's suggestion. Granted, I'll wait until my kids are around 10 before we watch this movie, but I think the vulgarities are relatively tame by today's standards. I'm also of the belief that if you don't teach kids that curse words are bad, they will be less likely to use them. And now, in keeping with the style of this post, a video from Airplane 2.

4. Star Wars

My parents weren't nerds, no matter how many times I may have called them that in my moody preteen years. As far as I know (I never really asked) they never even saw Star Wars. However, all of my friends in high school were nerds, so I still got my exposure and I fell in love. My kids won't have the same experience. My kids are going to learn about a father's love for his children and the fact that it knows no boundry when they watch Darth Vader pitch the Emperor down the...uhm....what would you call it? Let's go with "space well", rather than watch his son, who has become his enemy, suffer. I can't decide if I'll ever tell them that the Prequels exist. They are already going to be my kids, they'll have enough disappointment to deal with as it is.

5. Batman

Do I really need a reason for this? Batman is awesome. End of story.

Top 5 Things I Just Couldn’t Stick With

I’ve started a lot of things. Some I enjoy. Some I just know I should do. For some reason, I just can’t seem to stick with things. I was really enjoying writing this blog and I was getting some great feedback on it, but for some reason, the allure of playing Dr. Mario on my computer while watching TV was enough to take me away from the 30 minutes that it would take me to write a daily list. Anyway, I’m really going to try to get back to it and stick with it. I may not go daily, but I’m going to make my best effort. I hope all 5 of you will keep me on task. Anyway, let’s get reflective today. I present to you my…..

Top 5 Things I Just Couldn’t Stick With

Writing/Blogging

I like to write. I don’t think I’m exceptionally good at it and I get frustrated by constant writer’s block, but I still enjoy doing it when I do. I’ve tried to set goals for myself to write something every single day, hence the blogs. For some reason, I just don’t feel like I have anything to say most days, but then I remember that it’s all an exercise. I’m not getting paid to do this, but still, I strive for quality. I think it’s an ego thing that often prevents me from writing and that’s my cross to bear.

Photography

When I started college, I was good friends with a guy named Chris. He was the (at the time) sole employee of the comic book store that I shopped at. He was really interested in photography and got me interested enough that I took it as a college course. I got a nice camera as a graduation gift, learned to develop film and everything. After that class was over and I had no access to a darkroom, I just kind of quit. I got interested again, but the cost of a pro digital camera are such that I just haven’t been willing to make the investment. One day maybe.

Magic the Gathering

There was a time where it was cool to play Magic. At this time, I was in 6^th grade and I got into it because all of my friends were into it. My freshman year of high school, it was not cool to play Magic anymore. My friends, however, were not “cool”. They still played regularly. I remember stopping by the locker of a guy I was friends with in grade school who had outcooled me when we got to high school and saying “Hey man, do you still have your Magic cards?” He kind of sneered at me and then said “Yeah, probably in my basement or something?” “Do you still want them?” I asked. Disgusted, he said “Christ no. I’ll bring them tomorrow.” The next day he brought me two giant boxes of random cards and I was able to join my new nerd friends. I drop and pick up Magic constantly. I haven’t played in about 6-7 months, but I imagine when I move back home Dale (one of the aforementioned nerd friends) and I will start going to Friday Night Magic again.

Magic

As in magic tricks. Can you guys believe a human female is actually going to marry me? I’ve been into magic since I was 7 or 8 and my parents took me to see David Copperfield as a 1^st Communion gift. In 3^rd grade, I did a magic show for the talent show. I repeated it in 4^th grade, completely with magic dancing cane routine to the “Moondance” by Van Morrison. It’s an expensive hobby though and one I would pick up and drop based on finances. I love to go to a magic shop and pick up a new trick once and awhile, but it’s been about 3 years since I’ve popped in. The girl does love going though because the sales demonstrations basically amount to a free magic show. I never choose which trick to buy until I’ve seen at least 10-12.

Comic Books

Let me tell you guys something. When 2 of your best friends and 1 of your good friends comprise 75% of the staff of a comic book store, you spend a lot of your free time there. When you spend at least 2 hours a day at a comic book store, you keep picking up new books and checking them out. Now me, I’m a collector by nature. I wasn’t satisfied to just read the books and keep up with the stories. I would read the new Captain Marvel while hanging out and then after I had finished it, I’d buy it. It got to a point where I was spending 60-70 bucks a week on comics. I just had to stop. Now, I’m a responsible adult and DC Comics has set the clock back to zero on all of there story lines which allows me to jump in to some stories. I’ve been responsible though, setting a limit of 10 books to have pulled for me. That way, I ever go over 30-40 bucks a month. It’s satisfying to go to the same store every week (Alley Cats Comics on Clark for me), have the cashier know your name, know the cashier’s name, make a little small talk and then have him hand you your reserve books. Let’s see how long I stick with comics before things get out of hand and I have to stop again.

So we’re back kids. Here’s hoping I can keep it going. Let me hear you Internet! What have hobbies have you failed to keep up with? 

Top 5 Board Games

This one will be pretty quick. Kristen's parents have been staying with us this week. They came out for a surprise visit. Saturday morning we decided that Saturday night we would hang out at the apartment and play games as we had to get up at the crack to go to Kristen's race. We were telling them about Settlers of Catan, a board game we both love but could never bring ourselves to spend 40 bucks on. Kristen's mom sounded interested and she handed us $20 bucks and said "Here, we'll contribute if you guys want to buy the game." I bounded off to the Dice Dojo, my local gaming store, and picked up a copy.

We had a great time playing. Kristen won. I came in last place. I was kind of embarrassed.

There's not much in this world that I can do competitively. Board games are one thing that I am very good at. I love them. So it would be fitting to do this list. For your consideration my.....

Top 5 Board Games

1. Scattegories

I love Scattegories. It's one of the few word games I'm actually good at. It requires outside the box thinking, a quick mind, and allows one to be clever in giving and fighting for their answers as we see in the commercial where the harpie would say to her husband as he desperately tries to sleep "Are you wearing a frown? Then I can wear a smirk."

2. Tripoli

Tripoli holds sentimental value for me. Back when I was nine or ten, my Uncle Russ and Aunt Jen arrived for Thanksgiving toting this game. I have fond memories of sitting around the table for hours playing this card game that combines poker, hearts, and gin rummy. We never played for real money, but I bet it would've been interesting if we had. Perhaps now that we're all grown ups, I'll suggest it this Thanksgiving.

3. Settlers of Catan

The game that begat the post. The object is to use strategic building and trade combined with the roll of the die to gain brick, wood, wheat, sheep, and stone and build settlements, roads, and cities on the island of Catan. The object is to get ten points anyway you can. It's a great deal of fun and I love the aspect of someone being your ally one minute and then your enemy the next.

4. Risk

This is another one that brings back fond memories. I can recall Dale teaching me how to play RISK when we were in high school and told by our Catholic school teachers that Dungeons and Dragons was not appropriate to play at lunchtime. Instead, after we'd finished eating, Dale and I would retreat to the library where there was a RISK game. We had a game that lasted over a month, playing every day, because of our constant (and arbitrary) fighting over the territories of the fabled Canada's. RISK is a constant staple of my cellphone applications and has been for years. I love you, you glorious game of World Domination.

5. Munchkin

I don't get to play this game nearly as much as I would like to. It takes a special type of person to enjoy this game because you need a passing knowledge of nerd culture and role playing games despite this actually being a roleplaying game. Basically, this is a card game where you attempt to reach ten points by killing monsters and getting treasure. Your fellow players can help you to kill monsters in exchange for sharing your treasure and they can also make it more difficult to kill monsters in order to win. It's great to see how 3 people will team up to stop one person from winning (especially when that person is Dale).

I'd love to hear what you think should be on this list. As a board game fan, I'm always looking for new suggestions. I was telling Kristen, now that we have our own Settlers game, we can go to Board game night at the Dice Dojo, grab something we've never played, and give it a try. I'm hoping that happens again soon.

Top 5 Movie Villains

There's no avoiding a tie-in with Harry Potter on a night like tonight. I went through a list of topics that I wanted to touch on that would've tied in perfectly (top 5 Phenomenons I Tried To Avoid But Was Wrong About, Top 5 Movies Based on Books), but as I sat watching the flick, I couldn't stop thinking about something that Andy Kaufman (as played by Jim Carrey) said about his idea to be a bad guy wrestler. "Everybody loves a villain." It's definitely true for me.

When I was younger, my favorite wrestlers were The Undertaker and The Model Rick Martel. Both heels. My soft spot for Batman lies (almost) entirely in my love for the Rogues Gallery of villains that come with him. Count me in with everyone else, because I love me some villains. And so, without further ado my.....

Top 5 Movie Villains

1.The Joker

It was hard for me to choose which picture to use here. Do I go Jack Nicholson (the Joker from my youth)? Caeser Romero (The other Joker from my youth)? Nah, I had to go Heath Ledger. It's definitely the definitive Joker performance. Well, until the next guy comes along because, let's face it, every time someone plays the Joker in a movie, it basically blows the last performance out of the water.

I love the Joker because he's got no moral compass. That's what makes a great villain. He doesn't want power, money, or any of the other things that motivate people to evil. He just wants chaos. I love it.

2. Voldemort

Kristen and I were lucky enough to be able to visit "The Wizarding World of Harry Potter" this past winter. We were able to cram our way into a gift shop. We were able to choose wands. She chose Dumbledore's. To me, there was no other choice. I got Voldemort's.

3. Jigsaw

Is it really even fair to call Jigsaw a villain? Sure, he's (at least partially) responsible for a lot of deaths, but if we're being honest, I'm behind his motives. He just wants to teach people to be thankful for the gift of life and stop taking everything for granted. Almost every survivor portrayed in those movies is so thankful that, at some point, he or she winds up working for Jigsaw.

I'm the guy who's watched and enjoyed all 7 Saw movies. Granted, the first one is the only won that is truly great. But they are all entertaining as hell and one day I'm going to sit down for a marathon.

4. Hannibal Lecter

Sleek, sophisticated, quick with a joke, and he eats human flesh. Hannibal Lecter is the total package of villaindom.

Fun fact: While being the most notable character in the entire film, Hannibal Lecter is only on screen a little more than 20 minutes in the whole film.

5. Garland "The Marietta Mangler" Greene

If you've been looking for that guy who truly, honestly loves the movie Con-Air, look no further. I love a quiet, unsettling creepy killer. Again, Garland is not the central villain in the movie (Honorable mention to Cyrus the Virus), but I love when Greene talks about driving through 5 states wearing his victims head as a hat. Beyond that, there's no more chilling line in this film than, while having a tea party with a 6 year old, Greene says "I am sick. There is no cure for what I have." That girl's so lucky she's still alive.

Alright internet, now's the time. Who's missing from this list?

Top 5 Candies

I promised an adoring reader that I would try to write every day for 30 days. I think it's only fair after neglecting this blog for nigh on 3 weeks now. My apologies to my legions of fans. I hope I haven't disappointed the 6 of you too much. Anyway, here we go.

Sometimes I have really fond memories of things that turn out to not be quite as accurate in reality. Yesterday I stopped at Walgreen's before work to get some stuff for my snack drawer and as I was wandering around, I saw in the candy aisle a treat that I seemed to remember loving. Gum drops. Right below the gum drops....spice drops. Something in my head, probably that dick part of my brain that just likes to screw with me, was like "Aw man, you used to love gum drops and spice drops. Go ahead baby, have a little taste." Not being one to beg of peer pressure, I bought a bag of each and got real excited about popping some gum/spice drops in my mouth. Well let me tell you, gum drops were, at best, OK and spice drops....there just aren't words for my disappointment.

But we musn't dwell. Let's just move past this and focus on the good. With that I present to you my.....

TOP 5 CANDIES

1. Reese's Pieces

Reese's Pieces are my go to candy at the movies. I love to take a few kernels of popcorn and a few of these little guys and pop the whole thing in my mouth to have a little flavor party. They also take me back to a fond memory from about 7-8 years ago. It was Thanksgiving and all of my Milam cousins and I were sitting around the table after dinner and we got into one of the most glorious debates in history. One cousin (which one I can't recall) would says REE-SEEZ when talking about the peanut butter cup but say REE-SIZ when talking about the pieces. We had a great time debating whether or not it was acceptable to pronounce the company name two different ways when talking about two different products. I can't remember what kind of treaty we came to in the end.

2. 5th Avenue

So you're about to buy a Butterfinger huh? Did the store just not have Fifth Avenue? I refer to them as the "rich man's" Butterfinger, but in reality, they cost the same. The next time you're looking for a peanut butterey, chocolatey, crunchy treat, you should treat yourself to a Fifth Avenue instead of wasting your time with a Butterfinger or....I can barely say it.....Clark Bar.

3. Pretzel M+M's

This is kind of a new choice for me. Not really a "classic" if you will. I used to be a big fan of the Peanut Butter M+M. If you haven't noticed a trend in the previous two, I love me some peanut butter based candy. Coming in a close second for flavor profiles, salty/sweet. When the Pretzel M+M showed up on my mom's counter while I was visiting one weekend, I whooped for joy. These guys are not only great, but they are lower in fat than any other M+M. Thanks for looking out for me M+M's.

4. Chocolate Covered Potato Chips

I went back and for in my head about whether or not this counts as candy. This being the internet, I'm sure some guy will leave a comment like "Argg. Thatz not candi bro. ePiC fAiL!!!!" I don't care though. Chocolate covered potato chips are a big winner for me. Welcome to the list fella's.

5. Mo's Bacon Bar

This is kind of a special treat for me because that little bar of chocolate, no bigger than your average Hershey bar, is 7 GODDAMNED DOLLARS!!!!! Of course, it's Chicago. It's from a boutique choclatier. It's all fancy and it is really tasty. You're looking at dark chocolate with sea salt and bits of applewood smoked bacon in it. The idea to some people of bacon in chocolate is g-ross, but I'm telling you, give it a try and you won't be sorry. Even if you don't like it, you can say you've had an adventure.

So as always, let's here your picks for favorite candy. God willing, I'll be back tomorrow with another list.