5 Things I'm Excited to Share With My Kids

Friday night, Kristen and I went to see They Might Be Giants. In addition to the massive library of albums they've put out for general consumption, they've also put out 3 children's albums. They're grown up shows are not geared towards children, but they also do a lot of gigs that are all ages where they play the children's material and some more kid friendly stuff from their regular albums (Dr. Worm, Particle Man, etc.) I saw a few people who had brought little kids to the show, which is fine but I didn't think the venue was a great place for kids and the f-bomb was dropped a few times. Anyhow, I got to thinking about when I become a father.

 I'm not in any hurry to have kids, but a family is something I've always wanted to have. I think I'm really excited to be a dad and I think being a nerd has a lot to do with that. Most nerds are essentially big kids. We love video games, superheroes, cartoons, etc and I think this makes nerds really great parents. Patton Oswalt said that if you want to have a cool kid, you need to keep them away from everything you like. If I play my kids The Smiths and tell them how amazing The Blues Brothers is their rebellious attitude will kick in and they'll hate everything good. However, there are things I can't wait to introduce to my children. And with that, I present to you...

5 Things I'm Excited to Share With My Kids

1. They Might Be Giants

I think my kid's will really enjoy this song. Not as much as me I'm sure, but still.

2. The Muppets

Ever since I've been a little kid, I've loved the Muppets. They are timeless (puppets never age) and, like They Might Be Giants, just as entertain for children as they are for adults. I can't wait to sit my kids down and watch Muppet Show DVD's for hours on end. I've always loved this sketch (and I don't think I've posted it in any of my other blogs which mention the Muppets thus far.)

3. Airplane! and Airplane 2

I have such great memories of sitting around as a family watching classic comedies at my dad's suggestion. Granted, I'll wait until my kids are around 10 before we watch this movie, but I think the vulgarities are relatively tame by today's standards. I'm also of the belief that if you don't teach kids that curse words are bad, they will be less likely to use them. And now, in keeping with the style of this post, a video from Airplane 2.

4. Star Wars

My parents weren't nerds, no matter how many times I may have called them that in my moody preteen years. As far as I know (I never really asked) they never even saw Star Wars. However, all of my friends in high school were nerds, so I still got my exposure and I fell in love. My kids won't have the same experience. My kids are going to learn about a father's love for his children and the fact that it knows no boundry when they watch Darth Vader pitch the Emperor down the...uhm....what would you call it? Let's go with "space well", rather than watch his son, who has become his enemy, suffer. I can't decide if I'll ever tell them that the Prequels exist. They are already going to be my kids, they'll have enough disappointment to deal with as it is.

5. Batman

Do I really need a reason for this? Batman is awesome. End of story.

Top 5 Things I Just Couldn’t Stick With

I’ve started a lot of things. Some I enjoy. Some I just know I should do. For some reason, I just can’t seem to stick with things. I was really enjoying writing this blog and I was getting some great feedback on it, but for some reason, the allure of playing Dr. Mario on my computer while watching TV was enough to take me away from the 30 minutes that it would take me to write a daily list. Anyway, I’m really going to try to get back to it and stick with it. I may not go daily, but I’m going to make my best effort. I hope all 5 of you will keep me on task. Anyway, let’s get reflective today. I present to you my…..

Top 5 Things I Just Couldn’t Stick With

Writing/Blogging

I like to write. I don’t think I’m exceptionally good at it and I get frustrated by constant writer’s block, but I still enjoy doing it when I do. I’ve tried to set goals for myself to write something every single day, hence the blogs. For some reason, I just don’t feel like I have anything to say most days, but then I remember that it’s all an exercise. I’m not getting paid to do this, but still, I strive for quality. I think it’s an ego thing that often prevents me from writing and that’s my cross to bear.

Photography

When I started college, I was good friends with a guy named Chris. He was the (at the time) sole employee of the comic book store that I shopped at. He was really interested in photography and got me interested enough that I took it as a college course. I got a nice camera as a graduation gift, learned to develop film and everything. After that class was over and I had no access to a darkroom, I just kind of quit. I got interested again, but the cost of a pro digital camera are such that I just haven’t been willing to make the investment. One day maybe.

Magic the Gathering

There was a time where it was cool to play Magic. At this time, I was in 6^th grade and I got into it because all of my friends were into it. My freshman year of high school, it was not cool to play Magic anymore. My friends, however, were not “cool”. They still played regularly. I remember stopping by the locker of a guy I was friends with in grade school who had outcooled me when we got to high school and saying “Hey man, do you still have your Magic cards?” He kind of sneered at me and then said “Yeah, probably in my basement or something?” “Do you still want them?” I asked. Disgusted, he said “Christ no. I’ll bring them tomorrow.” The next day he brought me two giant boxes of random cards and I was able to join my new nerd friends. I drop and pick up Magic constantly. I haven’t played in about 6-7 months, but I imagine when I move back home Dale (one of the aforementioned nerd friends) and I will start going to Friday Night Magic again.

Magic

As in magic tricks. Can you guys believe a human female is actually going to marry me? I’ve been into magic since I was 7 or 8 and my parents took me to see David Copperfield as a 1^st Communion gift. In 3^rd grade, I did a magic show for the talent show. I repeated it in 4^th grade, completely with magic dancing cane routine to the “Moondance” by Van Morrison. It’s an expensive hobby though and one I would pick up and drop based on finances. I love to go to a magic shop and pick up a new trick once and awhile, but it’s been about 3 years since I’ve popped in. The girl does love going though because the sales demonstrations basically amount to a free magic show. I never choose which trick to buy until I’ve seen at least 10-12.

Comic Books

Let me tell you guys something. When 2 of your best friends and 1 of your good friends comprise 75% of the staff of a comic book store, you spend a lot of your free time there. When you spend at least 2 hours a day at a comic book store, you keep picking up new books and checking them out. Now me, I’m a collector by nature. I wasn’t satisfied to just read the books and keep up with the stories. I would read the new Captain Marvel while hanging out and then after I had finished it, I’d buy it. It got to a point where I was spending 60-70 bucks a week on comics. I just had to stop. Now, I’m a responsible adult and DC Comics has set the clock back to zero on all of there story lines which allows me to jump in to some stories. I’ve been responsible though, setting a limit of 10 books to have pulled for me. That way, I ever go over 30-40 bucks a month. It’s satisfying to go to the same store every week (Alley Cats Comics on Clark for me), have the cashier know your name, know the cashier’s name, make a little small talk and then have him hand you your reserve books. Let’s see how long I stick with comics before things get out of hand and I have to stop again.

So we’re back kids. Here’s hoping I can keep it going. Let me hear you Internet! What have hobbies have you failed to keep up with? 

Top 5 Board Games

This one will be pretty quick. Kristen's parents have been staying with us this week. They came out for a surprise visit. Saturday morning we decided that Saturday night we would hang out at the apartment and play games as we had to get up at the crack to go to Kristen's race. We were telling them about Settlers of Catan, a board game we both love but could never bring ourselves to spend 40 bucks on. Kristen's mom sounded interested and she handed us $20 bucks and said "Here, we'll contribute if you guys want to buy the game." I bounded off to the Dice Dojo, my local gaming store, and picked up a copy.

We had a great time playing. Kristen won. I came in last place. I was kind of embarrassed.

There's not much in this world that I can do competitively. Board games are one thing that I am very good at. I love them. So it would be fitting to do this list. For your consideration my.....

Top 5 Board Games

1. Scattegories

I love Scattegories. It's one of the few word games I'm actually good at. It requires outside the box thinking, a quick mind, and allows one to be clever in giving and fighting for their answers as we see in the commercial where the harpie would say to her husband as he desperately tries to sleep "Are you wearing a frown? Then I can wear a smirk."

2. Tripoli

Tripoli holds sentimental value for me. Back when I was nine or ten, my Uncle Russ and Aunt Jen arrived for Thanksgiving toting this game. I have fond memories of sitting around the table for hours playing this card game that combines poker, hearts, and gin rummy. We never played for real money, but I bet it would've been interesting if we had. Perhaps now that we're all grown ups, I'll suggest it this Thanksgiving.

3. Settlers of Catan

The game that begat the post. The object is to use strategic building and trade combined with the roll of the die to gain brick, wood, wheat, sheep, and stone and build settlements, roads, and cities on the island of Catan. The object is to get ten points anyway you can. It's a great deal of fun and I love the aspect of someone being your ally one minute and then your enemy the next.

4. Risk

This is another one that brings back fond memories. I can recall Dale teaching me how to play RISK when we were in high school and told by our Catholic school teachers that Dungeons and Dragons was not appropriate to play at lunchtime. Instead, after we'd finished eating, Dale and I would retreat to the library where there was a RISK game. We had a game that lasted over a month, playing every day, because of our constant (and arbitrary) fighting over the territories of the fabled Canada's. RISK is a constant staple of my cellphone applications and has been for years. I love you, you glorious game of World Domination.

5. Munchkin

I don't get to play this game nearly as much as I would like to. It takes a special type of person to enjoy this game because you need a passing knowledge of nerd culture and role playing games despite this actually being a roleplaying game. Basically, this is a card game where you attempt to reach ten points by killing monsters and getting treasure. Your fellow players can help you to kill monsters in exchange for sharing your treasure and they can also make it more difficult to kill monsters in order to win. It's great to see how 3 people will team up to stop one person from winning (especially when that person is Dale).

I'd love to hear what you think should be on this list. As a board game fan, I'm always looking for new suggestions. I was telling Kristen, now that we have our own Settlers game, we can go to Board game night at the Dice Dojo, grab something we've never played, and give it a try. I'm hoping that happens again soon.

Top 5 Movie Villains

There's no avoiding a tie-in with Harry Potter on a night like tonight. I went through a list of topics that I wanted to touch on that would've tied in perfectly (top 5 Phenomenons I Tried To Avoid But Was Wrong About, Top 5 Movies Based on Books), but as I sat watching the flick, I couldn't stop thinking about something that Andy Kaufman (as played by Jim Carrey) said about his idea to be a bad guy wrestler. "Everybody loves a villain." It's definitely true for me.

When I was younger, my favorite wrestlers were The Undertaker and The Model Rick Martel. Both heels. My soft spot for Batman lies (almost) entirely in my love for the Rogues Gallery of villains that come with him. Count me in with everyone else, because I love me some villains. And so, without further ado my.....

Top 5 Movie Villains

1.The Joker

It was hard for me to choose which picture to use here. Do I go Jack Nicholson (the Joker from my youth)? Caeser Romero (The other Joker from my youth)? Nah, I had to go Heath Ledger. It's definitely the definitive Joker performance. Well, until the next guy comes along because, let's face it, every time someone plays the Joker in a movie, it basically blows the last performance out of the water.

I love the Joker because he's got no moral compass. That's what makes a great villain. He doesn't want power, money, or any of the other things that motivate people to evil. He just wants chaos. I love it.

2. Voldemort

Kristen and I were lucky enough to be able to visit "The Wizarding World of Harry Potter" this past winter. We were able to cram our way into a gift shop. We were able to choose wands. She chose Dumbledore's. To me, there was no other choice. I got Voldemort's.

3. Jigsaw

Is it really even fair to call Jigsaw a villain? Sure, he's (at least partially) responsible for a lot of deaths, but if we're being honest, I'm behind his motives. He just wants to teach people to be thankful for the gift of life and stop taking everything for granted. Almost every survivor portrayed in those movies is so thankful that, at some point, he or she winds up working for Jigsaw.

I'm the guy who's watched and enjoyed all 7 Saw movies. Granted, the first one is the only won that is truly great. But they are all entertaining as hell and one day I'm going to sit down for a marathon.

4. Hannibal Lecter

Sleek, sophisticated, quick with a joke, and he eats human flesh. Hannibal Lecter is the total package of villaindom.

Fun fact: While being the most notable character in the entire film, Hannibal Lecter is only on screen a little more than 20 minutes in the whole film.

5. Garland "The Marietta Mangler" Greene

If you've been looking for that guy who truly, honestly loves the movie Con-Air, look no further. I love a quiet, unsettling creepy killer. Again, Garland is not the central villain in the movie (Honorable mention to Cyrus the Virus), but I love when Greene talks about driving through 5 states wearing his victims head as a hat. Beyond that, there's no more chilling line in this film than, while having a tea party with a 6 year old, Greene says "I am sick. There is no cure for what I have." That girl's so lucky she's still alive.

Alright internet, now's the time. Who's missing from this list?

Top 5 Candies

I promised an adoring reader that I would try to write every day for 30 days. I think it's only fair after neglecting this blog for nigh on 3 weeks now. My apologies to my legions of fans. I hope I haven't disappointed the 6 of you too much. Anyway, here we go.

Sometimes I have really fond memories of things that turn out to not be quite as accurate in reality. Yesterday I stopped at Walgreen's before work to get some stuff for my snack drawer and as I was wandering around, I saw in the candy aisle a treat that I seemed to remember loving. Gum drops. Right below the gum drops....spice drops. Something in my head, probably that dick part of my brain that just likes to screw with me, was like "Aw man, you used to love gum drops and spice drops. Go ahead baby, have a little taste." Not being one to beg of peer pressure, I bought a bag of each and got real excited about popping some gum/spice drops in my mouth. Well let me tell you, gum drops were, at best, OK and spice drops....there just aren't words for my disappointment.

But we musn't dwell. Let's just move past this and focus on the good. With that I present to you my.....

TOP 5 CANDIES

1. Reese's Pieces

Reese's Pieces are my go to candy at the movies. I love to take a few kernels of popcorn and a few of these little guys and pop the whole thing in my mouth to have a little flavor party. They also take me back to a fond memory from about 7-8 years ago. It was Thanksgiving and all of my Milam cousins and I were sitting around the table after dinner and we got into one of the most glorious debates in history. One cousin (which one I can't recall) would says REE-SEEZ when talking about the peanut butter cup but say REE-SIZ when talking about the pieces. We had a great time debating whether or not it was acceptable to pronounce the company name two different ways when talking about two different products. I can't remember what kind of treaty we came to in the end.

2. 5th Avenue

So you're about to buy a Butterfinger huh? Did the store just not have Fifth Avenue? I refer to them as the "rich man's" Butterfinger, but in reality, they cost the same. The next time you're looking for a peanut butterey, chocolatey, crunchy treat, you should treat yourself to a Fifth Avenue instead of wasting your time with a Butterfinger or....I can barely say it.....Clark Bar.

3. Pretzel M+M's

This is kind of a new choice for me. Not really a "classic" if you will. I used to be a big fan of the Peanut Butter M+M. If you haven't noticed a trend in the previous two, I love me some peanut butter based candy. Coming in a close second for flavor profiles, salty/sweet. When the Pretzel M+M showed up on my mom's counter while I was visiting one weekend, I whooped for joy. These guys are not only great, but they are lower in fat than any other M+M. Thanks for looking out for me M+M's.

4. Chocolate Covered Potato Chips

I went back and for in my head about whether or not this counts as candy. This being the internet, I'm sure some guy will leave a comment like "Argg. Thatz not candi bro. ePiC fAiL!!!!" I don't care though. Chocolate covered potato chips are a big winner for me. Welcome to the list fella's.

5. Mo's Bacon Bar

This is kind of a special treat for me because that little bar of chocolate, no bigger than your average Hershey bar, is 7 GODDAMNED DOLLARS!!!!! Of course, it's Chicago. It's from a boutique choclatier. It's all fancy and it is really tasty. You're looking at dark chocolate with sea salt and bits of applewood smoked bacon in it. The idea to some people of bacon in chocolate is g-ross, but I'm telling you, give it a try and you won't be sorry. Even if you don't like it, you can say you've had an adventure.

So as always, let's here your picks for favorite candy. God willing, I'll be back tomorrow with another list.

Top 5 Snacks

I’m at work at the time I'm writing this and usually, I don’t snack a whole lot at work. I try to alternate between water and coffee to keep something in my mouth and maybe eat a piece of fruit or a few licorice twists (which I’ve just recently fallen in love with) if I have it and am getting hungry. It’s odd to say but in general, I’m not much of a snacker for an overwieght person. You know me, bucking stereotypes left and right.

There is a clarification to be made. I should say that I’m not much of an active snacker. I don’t normally go out of my way to get a snack or have a snack. However, if I’m at a person’s house and snacks are out, I tend to snack alot. If I’m having a party and I put out snacks, I tend to hover around them. Good thing I don’t have a lot of parties.

The place I do the most snacking is on trips. On the train or bus home to Detroit, I’m almost non-stop eating. I’ll buy some chips or candy or something, try to stick a piece of fruit in there, and then also buy some sort of entree for the beginning of the ride. It probably comes from having nothing else to do except watch movies and eat. Again, lucky I don’t travel alot.

Now that I’ve made those disclaimers, I’m currently snacking. I had a feeling today was going to be an “I’ll need a snack” kind of day. I went with one of my absolute favorites , the number one on my …

Top 5 Snacks

1. Sesame Sticks

I’m not all together sure what these guys are, but man are they delicious. I’m looking at the ingredients on the little bag I got at Walgreens and apparently it’s simply wheat flour, sesame seeds, and salt. Simple, saltly, crunchy, and delicious. I’ve had them in different flavors like roasted pepper and honey roasted and I enjoy both, but nothing can top the original.

2. Popcorn

I love popcorn. I love movie theatre popcorn to a point where if I’ve made plans to go see a movie, I get just as excited about having popcorn. If those plans are later cancelled, that craving for popcorn will stick with me until slated. However, I also love cheddar popcorn. I had some amazing popcorn at a Farmer’s Market a few weeks ago from a place called Mother Butter’s. Later on, when going o a Tigers v. White Sox game, I took Kristen to their store front to sample their wares. Standout flavors for me included Bananas Foster and (one of the ones I bought) East Meets West White Cheddar, which was White Cheddar Popcorn seasoned with Indian Curry spices. There’s rarely, if ever, a time I don’t want popcorn.

3. Tortilla Chips and Hummus

I owe my beautiful bride to be for this one. I’ve liked hummus ever since I was first convinced to try it. I’ve always been a picky eater, but a few years ago, I decided to at least try some new stuff and hummus was on that list. Being close minded thought, I thought pita chips was the only thing that could possibly go with hummus. It was only a month or so ago that my lady suggested good tortillia chips as a vessel for hummus. Apparently, this is how she always eats it. My mind was blown some poor snack was blasted off of the top 5 snacks list.

4. Graham Crackers with milk

I’ve got to have the milk. It’s a requirement. I like to take the graham crackers, dunk it have way in the milk, count to 15 (so that it gets really soggy) and then eat it. I’ve tried eating them dry and it’s just not the same. Have you guys figured out how particular I can be yet?

5. Better Made Cheese Puffs

There’s a weird thing that happens to the Better Made Cheese Puff which I can’t explain. Most of the puffs are dry, like your average puffed cheese snack. Tasty and wonderful, but nothing that blows your mind. But what’s strange is the bottom of the bag. This is going to sound gross, but I promise it’s not. The bottom third of the bag is extra cheesy. As you get further down, the cheese puffs are almost damp. In my head, I get grossed out thinking that it’s just grease. But whenever I get my hands on Better Made Cheese Puffs (Better Made is a brand local to Detroit and their cheese puff is not produced at such a high volume as they used to. In fact, you have to get the giant bag, cause they don’t make a smaller snack size, from what I can tell when I’m home. Correct me if I’m wrong Detroiters), I’m always looking forward to the bottom third of the bag.

Top 5 Muppet Moments

YOU GUYS! We're getting a new Muppet movie. I know a lot of people who have complained about it. "Oh it's so meta. Oh Jason Segel. Blah blah blah." To all those people, I say this. "SHUT YOUR FACE! WE'RE GETTING A NEW MUPPET MOVIE AND YOU SHOULD JUST GET ON YOUR KNEES AND THANK ALL KNOWN AND UNKNOWN GODS THAT IT'S HAPPENING".

As many of you many may know, I'm a pretty big Muppets fan. I have been ever since I could remember. It is with that, that I share with you my.....

Top 5 Muppet Moments

1. Elton John Sings Bennny and the Jets

When I was a little kid, at the age where you still have trouble pronouncing certain word but you have the confidence to use them anyway, I would sing along with this performance "She's got electric boots, a mohair suit you know I read it in a mazagareeeeeeeeen oh ho"

2. Sheilds and Yarnell's Robot Breakfast

Yes mime is awful to watch on a boardwalk or a street corner. But this piece performed by Shields and Yarnell is amazing. It still makes me laugh.

3. Menomena

Is there really anything much to say about this? It's a classic. It holds a special place in my heart too because when I was in college 3 of my friends staged it for our Theatre School Talent Show. They went all out with the costumes and nailed it down move for move. It was almost scarily accurate.

4. The Christmas Toy

This movie is so great and without it, I wonder if we'd have one of the most beloved Disney/Pixar franchises known to man. The plot is about Rugby the Tiger, who is currently Jamie's favorite toy, being intimidated by Meteora, the cool new toy from space that doesn't realize she's a toy. Sound familiar?

5. The Muppets Bohemian Rhapsody

Watch this all the way to the end. The button on the whole thing is just priceless. The first time I saw it, I got shivers of excitement. I love Animal doing the Mama part. I love Dr Teeth and the Electric Mayhem. I love Beaker! Every character is used perfectly.

Oh, and for those of you who are curious, here's the full trailer for the Muppets new movie. Enjoy!